Tuesday, January 17, 2006

A Synonym for Acquiesce

empty fields move me so much more
than rooms filled up with friends
the way the trees look dead remind me
that there’s more to life than living
maybe giving up is not bad
but part of letting go of you
if I surrender to this feeling
maybe all the aches and pains can go
and I can close my eyes
never again to have them open
until I bleed out all I’ve been
but I don’t want to be alone no more
take this razor sign your name across my wrist
so everyone will know who left me like this
sew me up, my scars run deep
a reminder not to forget the times that we’ve had
I’ll never waste another second
I have wasted so much time

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

When it's all said and done.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

who needs a refill?

I don't know why things happen. And I don't know why people do the things that they do. And most of the time I don't care. But every now and then, somebody does something so incredibly ... I don't know ... out of character, maybe? ... and it makes me wonder why they would do what they did. What made them decide to take that course of action when things could have been dealt with differently? Why did they feel like they needed to do that? Or did they feel like they needed to at all? Sometimes I just really wish that I knew what made people tick. Cuz maybe if we knew, there would be a way to prevent bad things from happening to other people...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

sharp, slicing tears...

On a string I was held.
The way that I move, can you tell?
My actions are orchestrated from above.
So I swing and I sway.
Wave my hand. Kick my leg.
And it is always right with the music.
"Until all that swinging starts to make you sick"
For a song I was bought.
Now I lie when I talk with a careful eye on the cue card.
Onto a stage, I was pushed with my sorrow well rehearsed.
So give me all your pity and your money. Now.
"We used to think that sound was something pure"
If I could act like this was my real life and not some cage where I've been placed,
then, I could tell you the truth like I used to and not be afraid of sounding fake.
Now all that anyone is listening for are the mistakes.
In a house, by myself, I hear the ice start to melt and watch rooftops weep for the sunlight.
And I know what must change. Fuck my face. Fuck my name.
They are brief and false advertisements for a soul I don't have.
Something true I have lacked and spent my whole life trying to make up for.
But I found in a song and in the people I love.
They will lift me up out of darkness.
Now my door stands open.
I am inviting everyone in.
We will drink.
We will laugh until the morning comes.
That is what we are going to do.

Monday, December 19, 2005

flaming old ladies!

Raindrops Lyrics
Armour for Sleep

You appear like raindrops
And live like you sink through
The streets that you fall on
The cars that slip on you
All of this for just one night
Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but it’s okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air
The clouds will break my house
And throw me from my room
I’ll drown in the rainfall
And float till I find you
You appear like raindrops
And live like you sink through
The streets that you fall on
The cars that slip on you
All of this for just one night
Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but it’s okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air
And I won’t need air
And I won’t need air
And I won’t need air
And I won’t need air
Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but its okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air
Suffocate me, all you need,
I won’t breathe but its okay
You’ll be somewhere around me
And I won’t need air

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

one, two, three...

It's Time For.........Upgrade/Downgrade!

Substitute in third...
Downgrade

Make-up (do nothing) day in computers....
Upgrade

Surprise test in geometry...
Downgrade

Reading some lovely emails from some lovely people...
Upgrade

The classroom feeling like the freaking north pole...
Downgrade

Stupid annoying homework...
Downgrade

Writing a new poem (that i actually like)...
Upgrade

Getting to talk to 3 of my favorite people in a matter of 15 minutes...
(extreme) Upgrade

Today in general...
Upgrade

Monday, December 12, 2005

If today were a present, I'd be in standing in the line marked "Returns"

today was the epitome of suck.

i hate geometry. i hate mrs. mccrary. i hate this entire god-forsaken school. i hate dealing with people who cant get over themselves. and most of all i hate people who appear to be allergic to happiness. because they have succeeded to ruin my day. thanks a lot. you guys really out did yourselves today.